Thank god it’s Friday

Hey all,

So after a long and somewhat relaxing week, my girlfriend is finally back. She flew in late last night and boy was I happy to see her. I picked her up from the airport at 11:30pm and immediately jumped on her.

While I have had a relaxing time to myself, I am so happy she is back because in all honesty, she keeps me sane. Anyways, I hope you all have an amazing Friday.

 

 

A friend in need

Hey all,

So as I have been thinking things have finally cooled down and stabilized, a close friend from college called me two days ago and said she was coming to LA and wanted to see me. When she finally got here and settled in at my place, she turned to me and told me something really serious was going on and that she needed a place to stay for a bit. I wont share what exactly she shared with me for her privacy, but I will say helping a friend in need is one of the most rewarding experiences in life. We all have our struggles and we never should have to face them alone or have to fear reaching out for help or comfort in times of need. I told her she could stay with us as long as she wanted and that I’d be more than happy to help in anyway I can.

 

More to come later

 

People always need help. Please, if you’re suffering, reach out, you are not alone.

It’s scary to talk about my experiences with anxiety and depression and ptsd. But I think it’s only scary because of the stigma and judgment people put on me. People can be very quick to judge one another. But, nowadays I’m open to sharing more about my personal experiences if it could possibly help someone else.

No matter what you’re going through you’re not alone and there are people who want to help. I’ve had to seek help multiple times in my life and I’m glad and grateful that I reached out for help when my instinct was to stay in pain in isolation.

I am a great listener and a great bridge to other resources if anyone is ever interested. Mental health is so important and each person deserves peace of mind.

More of an update

Hey all,

sorry my weekend got very busy, I went to the studio to do some art on both my fashion line and personal artwork. But in the last few weeks, a lot has been going on. First of all, the ex boyfriend that I have been writing about, has been asking my friends about me and lurking on my social media sites, forcing me to change usernames and in one case, make an entirely new twitter account. So that is partly my reason for my lack of posts recently for which I apologize.

Secondly, my girlfriend extended her trip till Friday so in total, she will be gone 1 week. It has been very difficult, but in reality, probably one of the best things as I am appreciating my alone time and the distance has strengthened our relationship. But what it really did to me was force me to understand what an amazing person she is and how much she means to me. Going through a stalking situation from a violent ex boyfriend has been traumatic to say the least but my girlfriend has been able to calm me down, while being miles away. Before I met her in February, I was in a pretty dark spot and it turns out, the Canadian girl leaving was the best thing to ever happen to me because it opened unimaginably beautiful doors. So while this was supposed to be an update, while I write this steam of consciousness, it really has turned into a homage for my girlfriend, who is my my warrior princess.

Anyways, I plan to write more now that I feel my life has finally fallen into place and I definitely plan to use this week to be grateful for those in my life and focus on the present because at the end of the day, we dont know that what we have now, will be with us tomorrow.

 

Happy Monday Y’all.

Ready for the weekend

Hey all,

so my girlfriend is gone and extended her trip to New York for another week so she returns next Friday which gives me even more time alone, again, something that is quite unfamiliar to me. I plan to use this alone time wisely though, as it is something I rarely get and plan to delve myself in my art and school work. I will post a more detailed post later this weekend because at this moment my mind is mush from a long week. In anticipation of being very anxious, I did practice meditation for the first time in a while which was satisfying.

Anyways, I apologize for rambling. More to come later..

 

Back to reality-and school

Hey all,

I hope everyone had a happy Easter and Passover. I have been in Santa Barbara with my family and girlfriend and my dog, who has gotten a lot better. A lot has happened all of which I will share when I get back to Los Angeles later tonight, although I will probably more realistically write a more in depth update tomorrow or Friday.

My girlfriend is going away this weekend and my brother and his girlfriend are going back to Texas so for the first time in a long time, I will be home alone, which I have mixed feelings about. Anyone who knows me well, knows I don’t like to be alone at all but I also know psychologically, it is healthy to take time to be alone in one’s thoughts and feelings, a meditation of sorts.

I do plan to get a lot of stuff done this weekend and spend some time in my art studio drawing. But before that, I still have two days of school left in this week and have to study for exams as the semester is under wraps.

Anyways, thanks everyone who read this and I promise to provide a more detailed update later this week or weekend. Also, whatever art I create this weekend in my studio I will post. I am nervous about being alone but also excited to have some alone time in my thoughts and feelings, something I haven’t had in a while.

 

Update:Putting my dog down

So sorry guys I know I have been kinda busy for more in depth posts and for that I sincerely apologize. I have had a stressful week and I just found out at the beginning of the week my 15 year old dog has cancer and I made the decision to put him down. Now anyone who knows me knows that I have about 6 dogs and keep adopting more. But what makes Maverick special is that my ex and I (yes the ex that was horribly abusive and a drug addict) took care of him together and any anger he had at me and as much as an abusive prick he was to me, he loves that dog more than he probably loved me. So with all the emotions of dealing with having to put my dog down I also had to call him and talk to him, which comes with a world wind of  emotions. We talked for about 20 minutes with the vet and decided that it best to put him down tomorrow. So I will promise to do a lot better with the posts as soon as everything calms down.598589_10100616564591517_2047268415_n.jpg