An ode to my wife 

This girl right here has been with me since day 1. I can’t express my gratitude and amazement fairly because I don’t have the right words to sum up how madly I am in love with you. It is such a rarity to have someone in your life that you learn something new from everyday and inspires you to be the very best person you can be. In you, I have found not only my soulmate, but also my best friend.  (Continue reading below)

We may have a lot of arguments and occasionally let our emotions get the best of us but at the end of the day, we always come back to one another with an even greater understanding of love and acceptance. I love you more and more everyday babe. 

Update

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the gap in substantive posts, I have been on vacation in Canada and the U.S. for a while and have slacked on the posting.

Sophie and I have been doing really well, talking about children and building a family together and have been fighting a lot less since we used to.

Part of me thinks we fight less because we started marriage counseling- something that Sophie was reluctant to do at first. We decided to do it because we are both incredibly different people and we were  fighting so much, about nothing important really, but we both decided it was important to learn how to fight, since we both know fighting is part of marriage and relationships.

Ever since counseling, we have been on the same page and are more communicative with one another. Having an advocate for our marriage is so important and having someone talking us through even the most simplest of issues is both refreshing and eye opening.

As we move forward and get ready to start our second year of medical school soon, we both know marriage is different and more serious than dating or being engaged. I have learned a lot about relationships and the importance of communication in the last 6 months than I have learned in my entire life.

Anyways, I hope this post makes some sort of sense and I look forward to being more consistent with my posting.

Thoughts on the weekend events

I can’t tell you how many people have criticized me, ridiculed me, tried to silence me for being “too harsh” or “too emotional” toward my friends/family (online and in person) when it comes to calling out racism/bigotry in people’s words/actions. (my partners have criticized me over the years, my family members have criticized me, my friends have asked me to tone it down around certain people… the list goes on and on and there’s lots of victim blaming and devils-advocate-ing that has gone on…)

but. you forget that A) I put myself thru the same ringer every moment to make sure antiblackness and bigotry don’t come out in my words/actions. I’m EXTREMELY introspective and try to be as accountable as possible when I do mess up. I have internalized a lot of bs from this world and it is a full-time job trying to get rid of it from my system.

And you maybe also forget that B) the future of our society depends on it… on ALL of us calling out racism. yes, when it’s tough, scary, right in front of us. the crazy part is, it’s a lot more dangerous for some of us than others. I honestly experience anxiety watching black women / queer women / trans women and nonconforming femmes/ elder women / differently abled women take to the frontline. But if we can show up in our relationships, workplaces, classrooms, communities being authentic, present, brave, mindful about our own behavior AND passionate enough to call others into that same introspective reflection, so can you! what if more people were inspired by our passion as black women? not defensive? imagine.